September 12, 2004

Dear Piper,

Why is it that females will say they don't care if their guy has a girlfriend but then when they find out he does they get mad?

--Tweety

Dear Tweety,

This is all about possibility vs. reality. For example, lets say there's a couple named Tweety and Sylvester. One day Sylvester is feeling unsure of his manhood. So, he says to Tweety, "Baby, would you still love me if I were 4-feet tall and had no teeth?" Now, Tweety loves Sylvester, and she knows the likelihood of her man waking up one day 2 feet shorter and gumming his Cheerios is slim, so she says, "Yes, Baby, I'd still love you." The odds are in her favor; the possibility is difficult to imagine. Now, let's say one day they wake up and Sylvester has become a toothless midget. Well, now Tweety's gonna be pissed because what was only a 'what if' has become a reality. Reality sucks because you have to deal with it. The same holds true for your question. As long as another woman is just a supposition of her man's imagination, that other woman is not worth fretting over. But the minute she becomes real, well, then a girl's gonna get mad because now she has competition. Especially if that other woman doesn't have any teeth.

--Piper