February 18, 2004

Dear Piper,

I have a very dear friend that I know adores me, loves and respects our friendship. The problem is she always wants to be right and the center of attention, which drives me crazy! No matter where we are or for what reason we are there she must say or do something to make herself noticed. It is kinda crazy because she's in her mid-thirties so she's not a twentysomething acting out. How do I tell her to chill out without hurting her feelings?

--Friend of a Needy Friend

Dear Friend of a Needy Friend,

A friend in need is a friend indeed. Whoever said that was smoking crack. Here's the thing: people who need to be at the center of attention are really just asking for love. They simply need more of it than the rest of us. Doesn't matter how old or young you are...doesn't matter how many times your mama hugged you when you were in elementary school. It's just one of those things. Now, I suggest you let your friend act out when she needs to--you wouldn't be able to stop it even if you wanted to. However, just because she acts out doesn't mean you have to be her audience. Repeat that to yourself three times before reading on. OK, good. Understand what I'm saying? You don't have to be the recipient or accomplice to her histrionics. She has a right to act a damn fool and you have a right to separate yourself from the damn fool. Step aside from the shenanigans.

--Piper