July 16, 2004

Dear Piper,

My older sister is having a mid-life crisis and making crazy decisions, from men to hand-guns. Should I quietly just listen to/observe/support her, or should I speak up and offer my opinion and hope she shapes up before trashing her life?

--Embarrassed Little Sister

Dear Embarrassed Little Sister,

The best lessons are learned the hard way. Which is why we sometimes have to sit back and watch as loved ones get themselves into and, hopefully, out of trouble. But when that trouble includes potentially life-threatening ingredients it's imperative for us to at least try and intervene. Men and hand guns seldom mix to a successful end. Tell your sister your concerns, but be careful not to attack her. Tell her you love her. Tell her it's her decisions that concern you. Ask her where she thinks her choices are taking her. Maybe if you get her own gears grinding into the thought process of "where is this situation headed" she might cut herself off at the pass.

--Piper